Judaism

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HalalA little over a year ago, I noticed that the stuff at Holy Land had this little symbol on it. Since halal isn’tequivalent to kosher,” I wondered exactly how legal it was–it’s illegal to imply something is kosher when it isn’t. In addition, kosher certification agencies generally freak out over misuse/misleading usage of their heschers, though that wouldn’t be the issue at stake here.

I hit up Shmarya after finding a post he made on the exact same thing, but he said that no rabbis seem concerned about it.

I had figured it was either a deliberate attempt at faking a kosher certification where there was none, or simply trying to poorly explain what “halal” is to people either too sheltered or too stupid to Google it for themselves, but assumed it was the latter.

Just recently, I noticed that the little symbol has changed from saying “equivalent to kosher” around it, to “certified since 1987.” I wonder if someone complained?

From Micah Gil at Killing the Buddha: the shofar and hermaphrodites in Talmudic literature:

There follows a most peculiar statement: “A hermaphrodite can perform a religious duty for a fellow hermaphrodite, but not for any one else.”

Some folks are shocked to find the rabbis even mentioning hermaphrodites, what the Gemara calls androgynus, but the truth is that this being of unusual gender shows up all over Talmudic discourse. Perhaps in the days before the “medical miracle,” when a procedure on the birthing table, a kind of grotesque circumcision, purports to solve this riddle of nature forever, the alternately-sexed were simply more present in everyday life. But what the rabbis lack in surgical technique, they make up for in the rigidity of their intellectual categorization. In every discussion, it is determined whether the androgynus will be treated as a man or a woman, depending on circumstance. Only one sage, the forward-thinking Rabbi Jose (pronounced Yo-si,) offers the suggestion that a hermaphrodite “is a creature unto itself.”

Behold

Black Hebrews

Whenever I pass some “black hebrews” on Nicollet Mall, I keep thinking of the MaNishtana post:

Please direct me to where it says “Behold, and thou shalt dress in a manner as if thou art the bastard offspring of a threesome between the Power Rangers, the Village People, and Lawrence of Arabia.”

Urban Parsha Re’eh [Deut 11:26-16:17]:

and so G said: “imma tell y’all straight up right now: y’all can do the damn thing and we be cool or y’all can drop ship and we got beef. when y’all get up in the club, it’s on with them next g haters. let em know we up in this ish. smoke them fools and they fake a$$ g’s. i run israel…don’t be tryna switch up my flow, ya heard me? my verses be tight already, i don’t need yall messing with my bars. now if some next cat comes along tryna kick knowledge that i aint never co-signed on, then that cat is tryna clown y’all cuz he don’t run with me. don’t let him gas you up with some walking across water ish…when you up in my crib, break me off with some of that paper, cuz y’all need a reminder that I run this ish. i get money. now y’all better come through and holler at me at me in club. you know how we get crunk on the trifecta.”

“hey, when something is really, truly, internally yours? you can have a lot of fun with it.”

Birthright Israel Hires Agriprocessors’ Disgraced Former PR Firm 5WPR:

For those who don’t remember, Torossian’s firm was hired by Agriprocessors after the May 2008 immigration raid. In its capacity as Agriprocessors PR agency, it impersonated Rabbi Morris Allen and other Agriprocessors critics online – starting right here on FailedMessiah.com.

Yes, that would be THAT Rabbi Allen, of Beth Jacob Congregation in Mendota Heights.

You know, I’d love to do Birthright once I finish my conversion. This just should not have happened. Birthright should have known better. It’s disappointing. As long as Birthright is being represented by that trashy firm, I can’t find a reason for anyone to support them, refer young Jews to them, or to sign up to take a trip with them.

You can read more about everything 5WPR and Agriprocessors over at FailedMessiah, or everything sleazy and 5WPR at Gawker.

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