May 2008

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I like convenient technology, but I am not sure how extreme I would go to be able to hear normally without my hearing aids. The Envoy Esteem implant feels like another crutch rather than a cure. Do I really want the machinery I wear behind my ears put in my skull? It just creeps me out. It’s unfortunate because I qualify perfectly for their trials with my hearing loss. However, as much as I like science, I don’t feel like offering myself up for it, especially when I think it is not solving the problem itself.

While it may be years before anything could be done for hearing losses with stem cells, I’d rather deal with an equally invasive procedure that would leave me “healed” instead of going through one that just prolongs actual advancement. Given how functional stem cells are, further research would be beneficial to everyone on the planet.

The era of the Ghettoputer ended violently last weekend.

The Ghettoputer was a 466 MHz PowerPC G3 with 768MB of RAM. Defying aesthetics, it lived in a faded beige PC case with a retro, rainbow Apple sticker on the front. It was hacked to absolute bits graciously by my father in order to run Mac OS 10.4.

Ghettoputer came into my life a few months after my G4 PowerBook died in a cat/hot chocolate accident. Before, I was used to using programs like Quark, Photoshop, Illustrator, and Aperture. With Ghettoputer, starting up felt like a miracle.

Ghettoputer’s descent into the afterlife began with shared library errors while trying to open various applications, inability to upgrade to the latest version of Quicktime, mysteriously shutting off during use, and eventually being unable to start up at all.

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I thought mosquitoes and tornadoes were decent-enough plagues for Minnesota. Then, in 2007, the Monster from SimCity 2000 attacked a bridge of ours and we had to choose between fording the river, taking a ferry across, or just waiting until they rebuilt the damn thing. This summer, it’ll be swarms of Republicans descending upon the Twin Cities in fucking Zubaz.

I suppose it will be an incredible week for prostitutes, taxi drivers, pick-pockets, the Mall of America, area hotels, and anyone else who can think of ways to profit. The rest of the Twin Cities will just have a 4AM closing time to look forward to.